My mom and dad have lived in the same house, in the same neighborhood for all but 2 of my 35 years of life. And many of the inhabitants of their lil neighborhood's tucked-away block have been there quite a while as well. So when anyone from our family sees a stranger 'round the old homestead, our interests are piqued.
Today, Holly, Baby Harry, Gilly and I met someone new as we were outside taking a mini walk up and down Elm St.
"There a skunk around here?" we heard from behind.
Holly and the baby (ummm I feel compelled to mention that "Baby" Harry is a GIANT 2 year old!) and I spun around to face the inquring voice. Gillian was a lil bit ahead of us and came running back.
To our surpise, a sprightlly elderly gentleman, perched upon an older-model bicycle was the source of the question. He was dressed in a smart white and blue-striped button down dress shirt and creased khakis. Well-worn loafers ensconsed his feet, one perched on a bike pedal, the other balancing on the asphalt road. To me, he looked like a modern day, real-life version of Hermie the rogue elf from the Rankin and Bass classic (AND TERRIFYING)claymation Chrsitmas special, Rudolf the Rednosed Reindeer.
"Yeah, I can SMELL him!" Gillian piped up, delighted. She ADORES skunks. She even loves the nose-hair-singeing stench of skunk. Weirdo.
"Weel, you wanna trap 'im?!"asked Real-life Hermie, all excited-like.
Holly and I LOOKed at each other and had a silent conversation:
"TRAP a Skunk?! I can barely change his diaper!" Holly said in my head, eyeballing her Newfoundland Hound- sized toddler.
"I know, right? Who IS this guy?!"
"Do we look like wild mountain women?!" We both appraised our apparel. Me in a workaday pair of black capirs and tasteful black and white top, my sis in a fashionable orange tank and classy jeans.
"NO!" we silently sang out.
"Ummmmm...errr..." I stammered politely at the bike-bound stranger. "Well," he said "lemme know!" as he pedalled away he called back to us, "There's lotsa critters around here! We caught some racoons over there by the river! Got us a skunk down by *unitelligible* so just ...lemme know!"
Another silent communication:
Me, "What the HELL?!'
Sis, "I KNOW! Who ASKS strangers, PRETTY strangers (my sis is nothing if not modest) to WRESTLE WILD LIFE?! "
"You'll set him free, right?! If you trap the skunk?!" I called aloud to Real Life Hermie's quickly disappearing back.
"Yeah! Ok! Sure!"
"Like I am sure you set the racoons free!?" I screeched desperately in his direction. He held up a silent wave in response, pacifying me.
I mean , what did I expect? Claymation Hermie PULLED the TEETH of the ABOMINAL SNOWMAN in order to render him harmless.
Skunk Rasslin'!! On a WEEKday?! No thanks! Clearly I have more important things to do. Like post a new blog. :)
Work, home, kids, life, it's all a breeze!!!
Monday, August 20, 2012
My Little Brony
Gillian was very excited to buy a new video game with her own money. As the tall, scrawny, glasses-clad 20-something 'kid' rang up our purchase my daughter noticed a My Little Pony figurine prancing lifelessly under the register's screen. "Hey! It's Pinkie Pie!"
"That's mine, actually." said the previously mentioned ADULT MALE Toys R Us employee. "And do you know who THIS is?" He then pointed to a smallish (think Happy Meal Toy) bright pink and purple pony glittering garishly from a long, thick silver chain around his neck. "Ummmm yeahhh.. uhhhh she LOOKS FAMILiarrr.." Gillian's brow furrowed in concentration. "It's Purple-Nurple, of course!" Ok, her name wasnt Purple Nurple but I dont know WHAT he said! AND THEN, he pointed to a THIRD PONY in the form of a TIE PIN tacked to his employee badge lariat. "And THIS," he said proudly, "is Trixie. I am a HUGE Trixie fan." LAter he showed us his MLP-clad iPhone cover, as well as the screen saver on his phone, which was, OF COURSE, an image of Trixie. He went on to describe the ENTIRE culture of the MLP phenomenon. He boasted "We're the new Trekkies!" He even informed me that Q from Star Trek:The Next Generation was a GUEST voice and basically played Q in pony form.
"So how did you get in to all of this?" WHAT THE CRAP?! WHY DID YOU JUST ASK THAT YOU STUPID, STUPID NOSY WOMAN!!! I yelled at myself from the safety of my head as I smiled a seemilngly engaging, but really totally devoid of joy pageant smile his way. Smiling. Another big mistake. THat just made him tell me about very specific episodes. "And one time somepony-"
"Did you just say 'somepony?' "
"Yeah, one time somepony" did something really cute and funny and the fanbase went wild which led to more cute and funny stuff.
"My Little Pony...blah..blah..blah..artwork. It's magical...good, strong life lessons.... and my fellow Bronies, I'm a Brony, that's guys who like the show we all...." OH I had to bite my tounge HARD to NOT make a snide comment about THAT one!! BROnies? I looked around for a Candid Camera. This guy could NOT be for REAL, COULD he?!
But he was real. Soooooo verrryyy real.
And then, y'all... AND THEEEEEE-UUUUNNNNNNN he started talking-waitforit-about-waaaiiitforit- MY LITTLE PONY -WAIIIIIITFOOORRIIIITTTTT- CONVENTIONS.
WHAT. THE.
This very tall, skinny, grown-ass man, this "Brony" if you will, and you will, who honestly and purely LOVES a cartoon originally intended for little girls, has been to no less than 5 MLP conventions. For him, it's all about collecting, and the artwork of MLP and connecting with other ADULTS worldwide who love the show. He even told me what websites were kid-friendly and which were for the adult fan-base (uh yeah, I'm not letting G on ANY of these websites, btw). This Brony once went to a convention where 7000!!! people showed up! And it was supposed to be a SMALL convention! He went on to tell me which voice actresses he met and which were his fave eps.
I know what you are thinking. This guy is a perv, a pedophile interested in hurting little girls. But I really don't think so. Number one, he paid little attention to my 9 year old girl as she was nearby playing a sample video game. The only time he even really engaged her in the conversation was when she piped up at his mentioning "Derpy" a horsey whose eyes are off kilter (one up, one down). Apparently Derpy was named by the fanbase and is HUGEly popular even tho she rarely has a line, (also, her off-eyes were originally an animation glitch but the fans loved her that way so she stayed all.. derpy, I guess!) Number two, his face just LIT UP when he was talking about the culture, the show, the characters. Not unlike when Gilly talks about Harry Potter.
Sometimes a Brony is just a Brony, man. It's as simple as that.
"That's mine, actually." said the previously mentioned ADULT MALE Toys R Us employee. "And do you know who THIS is?" He then pointed to a smallish (think Happy Meal Toy) bright pink and purple pony glittering garishly from a long, thick silver chain around his neck. "Ummmm yeahhh.. uhhhh she LOOKS FAMILiarrr.." Gillian's brow furrowed in concentration. "It's Purple-Nurple, of course!" Ok, her name wasnt Purple Nurple but I dont know WHAT he said! AND THEN, he pointed to a THIRD PONY in the form of a TIE PIN tacked to his employee badge lariat. "And THIS," he said proudly, "is Trixie. I am a HUGE Trixie fan." LAter he showed us his MLP-clad iPhone cover, as well as the screen saver on his phone, which was, OF COURSE, an image of Trixie. He went on to describe the ENTIRE culture of the MLP phenomenon. He boasted "We're the new Trekkies!" He even informed me that Q from Star Trek:The Next Generation was a GUEST voice and basically played Q in pony form.
"So how did you get in to all of this?" WHAT THE CRAP?! WHY DID YOU JUST ASK THAT YOU STUPID, STUPID NOSY WOMAN!!! I yelled at myself from the safety of my head as I smiled a seemilngly engaging, but really totally devoid of joy pageant smile his way. Smiling. Another big mistake. THat just made him tell me about very specific episodes. "And one time somepony-"
"Did you just say 'somepony?' "
"Yeah, one time somepony" did something really cute and funny and the fanbase went wild which led to more cute and funny stuff.
"My Little Pony...blah..blah..blah..artwork. It's magical...good, strong life lessons.... and my fellow Bronies, I'm a Brony, that's guys who like the show we all...." OH I had to bite my tounge HARD to NOT make a snide comment about THAT one!! BROnies? I looked around for a Candid Camera. This guy could NOT be for REAL, COULD he?!
But he was real. Soooooo verrryyy real.
And then, y'all... AND THEEEEEE-UUUUNNNNNNN he started talking-waitforit-about-waaaiiitforit- MY LITTLE PONY -WAIIIIIITFOOORRIIIITTTTT- CONVENTIONS.
WHAT. THE.
This very tall, skinny, grown-ass man, this "Brony" if you will, and you will, who honestly and purely LOVES a cartoon originally intended for little girls, has been to no less than 5 MLP conventions. For him, it's all about collecting, and the artwork of MLP and connecting with other ADULTS worldwide who love the show. He even told me what websites were kid-friendly and which were for the adult fan-base (uh yeah, I'm not letting G on ANY of these websites, btw). This Brony once went to a convention where 7000!!! people showed up! And it was supposed to be a SMALL convention! He went on to tell me which voice actresses he met and which were his fave eps.
I know what you are thinking. This guy is a perv, a pedophile interested in hurting little girls. But I really don't think so. Number one, he paid little attention to my 9 year old girl as she was nearby playing a sample video game. The only time he even really engaged her in the conversation was when she piped up at his mentioning "Derpy" a horsey whose eyes are off kilter (one up, one down). Apparently Derpy was named by the fanbase and is HUGEly popular even tho she rarely has a line, (also, her off-eyes were originally an animation glitch but the fans loved her that way so she stayed all.. derpy, I guess!) Number two, his face just LIT UP when he was talking about the culture, the show, the characters. Not unlike when Gilly talks about Harry Potter.
Sometimes a Brony is just a Brony, man. It's as simple as that.
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