In March of 2010 some wacky Swedish scientists decided to smack and smash some atoms together in their shiny, giant Large Hadron Collider in an effort to further explore Dark Matter, Supersymmetry, and A Buncha Other Nerdy Stuff (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Large_Hadron_Collider ). Conspiracy theorists and educated citizens alike feared that this sort of reckless experimentation would lead to "doomsday phenomena" such as black holes, alien invasion (I guess they were worried a rouge spark or two would signal a hovering ship?) or even environmental reaction like earthquakes and tidal waves.
Well, I don’t remember any of that stuff happening. What I do remember is a bad, bad day all around. I blamed it aaalll on the Hadron Collider. I mean, you just cant go MESSIN with that stuff, ya know?
So today, when our entire woke up late and were scrambling around the house to get ready, I KNEW it was because of those DAMNED Solar Flares. Sure, sure, we were all warned that computers/ internet/ TV and traffic signals may be wonky but no one bothered to tell us about the REAL STUFF that could go wrong during these ‘minor’ cataclysmic events. Because of the sun releasing joules of energy all willy-nilly, Gilly's cough has FLARED UP (get it? FLARED up?!). My poor baby is being pumped full of albuterol and two diff steroids. So she is a hyper, emo, hungry Hellen Keller of a mess. Solar flares. Ugh.
I had to skip my am shower AND coffee so I’m feeling scrungy AND cranky. Slapped my make up on in the car so its all streaky and smudgy, no doubt.
ANNNND THEEENNNNN I got caught in the rain with no coat. My cute lil leopard print ballet flats did nothing to protect my feet from puddles and are likely to fall apart due to the fact that they were $10 from Kmart. My make up went from smudged to smeared. Messy hair went flat and frizzy. So when The Rival breezed in to the office, untouched by the elements thanks to her coordinating (but NOT matcy-matchy) Burberry rain ensemble, that was my breaking point. Im calling out sick tomorrow and taking to my bed till further notice.
Hmph.
Stupid Solar Flares. They ruin EVERYTHING!
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