I am a fragile woman. I just am. And I dont mind admitting it. So why isn't it ok for me to just go lay down in bed in the middle of the day? Why do I HAVE to work? I'm not knockin women's lib or whatever but why isn't it ok for me to NOT WANT to DO anything other than be a good person, follow 'the rules' and have a family? Why do I HAVE to go to work? Why am I expected to MAKE SOMEthing of myself? Why should I? I have waaayy too many thoughts and dreams to just settle on one. ]And I'll tell you right now not ONE of those lofty ideals included being away from my house all work week long, for 8 hours a day, only to be so overwhelmed by the weekend that I can't do a damn thing becasue I am absolutely overwhelmed to the point of paralysis. And while it's true I bring most of it on myself, because I don't hang up my coat every day. I don't have a dresser with a complete set of fully functioning drawers so my clothes end up in a pile beside me bed. And don't even get me started on Gillia'ns room. Or any other roiom in the house.
I tried to clean today and after an HOUR (my house is less than 900 sq ft, ppl) you cdnt even tell that I had done anything. bc I flit from room to room. BTW, It's useless to give me suggestions about stayinbg in one place till it's all done or making lists or asking for help. None of it works for me. Hell, even medications haven't worked for me.
Remember when it was socially acceptable for a wife/mom to 'go away' for 'her nerves' ? Yeah, in my opinion, those were the good ol' days...
Minus the thank you notes...
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